Of buzzwords and more.

Right. I'm sorry about that last post. It was a pathetic attempt to just get a blog post up. It wasn't even heartfelt. Well, maybe part of it was. But, no picture? No accompanying video? What?! What kind of an entry was that?

I've realised that I don't have any recent photographs of myself. The last one was in March 2011. Almost a year ago. I'm not really sure what that is. Probably because I haven't liked the way I looked for the last six months. I don't update my Facebook profile picture for many many months because of that. I find one good picture and cling to it for many months. See, I think self-loving should be one of my buzzwords on 2012 and the rest of my life maybe. I have got to stop thinking of myself as fat, unattractive, unloveable, incompetent. All this self hatred is so exhausting. Imagine what else I could do with my time if I stopped thinking about how horrible I was. I could read more. Maybe join the choir again. Volunteer at a shelter. Go for driving classes. (Yeah, no. That's not going to happen. Just the driving class bit. I don't think I'm meant to drive. The fear cannot be so paralysing, can it? Anyway, the point is to love myself and not get pulled down with all the other negativity. I know I've talked about this before - getting rid of the negativity. But, it's something I need to keep reminding myself about. 

Just a few days ago, I floundered in self pity for a while because a boy I liked didn't reciprocate. Oh, it's so good to wallow in self pity. I think that's why people like doing it. It just feels so good to sorry for yourself. Oh, I have to drink, I hate myself. Oh, I must eat some chocolate, I'm disgusting. Oh, no one's going to love me. Boohoo. Anyway, it's not like I'm saying it's stopping completely. But, it's on its way out. (Famous last words. I know)

I want cardio activities and diet to be one of my buzzwords as well. And, by diet I just mean eating right. It is just so essential for a healthy lifestyle, and I don't think people give it enough credit. I mean, you may be working your ass off in the gym, but aren't seeing any results. Look at your diet. I have no one to blame but myself for my unhealthy weight gain and fat percentage. The way I'm going about this is to not cut it out of my diet completely, but to withdraw slowly. That chocolate I would've normally had after dinner? Have it a few days later. I can't really tell how this is going to work out. I always proclaim that I'm optimistic about things, and then they really fall flat in my face. So, let's see. It's only the 2nd week of January. I have a good trainer, I am being more frequent to the gym, and my hair looks great.

Talking about withdrawal. I am facing major canine withdrawal symptoms. You know, I may grumble about walking them and cleaning up after them, but my life is so incomplete without them. What the hell do I do without them? I'm hoping to volunteer at an animal shelter after a couple of weeks of settling down. Oh wait, make that three to four weeks. I have major dental problems that can only be done during the weekend. So yeah, once my teeth are all secure, I will think about options for my weekend.

Here's a picture of my dogs so you can see why I'd be having withdrawal symptoms:

Apparently, they're really happy with my mum in Kerala. I could hear the smirk in my mum's voice when she told me that they were eating so well and cleaning out their plates. They weren't doing it when we were there.