A realisation of epic proportions

I've decided to stop using the word 'epiphany' on this blog. It's only because I've been going through these so called 'epiphanies,' and realised that they're nothing more than epic realisations. Realisations that I conveniently forget about when I have to. 

This 'epic realisation' happened a few days ago. I decided to actually write about it because it's lasted all this while. I had fought with my sister over something really silly (we're still not talking, if anyone wants to know), and I was upset and angry and in the auto and though to myself 'Damn, I wish I had a boyfriend.' And, it just hit me. So hard. That I want a boyfriend for all the wrong reasons. At this point in time, for example, I wanted a boyfriend so I could complain. Is there a sillier reason to want to have a boyfriend? Because I really haven't heard it.

I know my friends have been telling me things like 'occupy yourself with things that you enjoy so you really won't notice the lack of companionship in your life.' I always listened to it. Always agreed. (But never really agreed if you know what I mean.) A boyfriend to me represented a chance to breakaway from this life right now and on to a more exciting life. And yes, a part of me kept thinking, you're 29 years old, you have no business thinking this way. You ought to know better. But, reasoning and logic can never compete with romance and passion.

At this point though, I'm still not sure whether my epic realisation has won over the romance. But, I'm turning 30 this year, and it's finally time to let go of the fairytales? Don't you think?

(That's me. In my head)