I make a big deal about my interactions with men. Limited interactions though they may be, I make them to be much bigger than they are. A guy who seems vaguely interesting, shows a polite interest in me, and I have already planned the wedding, the house we're going to live in and the car we'll drive. Is it just me? Or are there other women who think like this?
You know, ever since I turned 29, I have this constant refrain in my head "I can't believe I'm 29," "I can't believe I'm 29." I think I thought my life would be sorted out by this time. I read these stories where women who are 30 or 32 are running companies and happily married with 2 children. All I can think is "they can't be just 30, what the hell am I doing with my life?" A big part of me thinks that if I found someone, just anyone, then that part of my life would be settled, and I wouldn't worry so much about the other parts. For some reason, I think it's easier to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, than to find a career I actually enjoy. I'm afraid of rejection from both these options. But, while I'm willing to take a chance with the men in my life, I am not even attempting to try for a career I may be interested in. Somehow, that rejection would sting more.
Anyway, I know this is some mid life crisis. I'm sure there are parts of my life that will get settled in a couple of months. Here's to that.
You know, ever since I turned 29, I have this constant refrain in my head "I can't believe I'm 29," "I can't believe I'm 29." I think I thought my life would be sorted out by this time. I read these stories where women who are 30 or 32 are running companies and happily married with 2 children. All I can think is "they can't be just 30, what the hell am I doing with my life?" A big part of me thinks that if I found someone, just anyone, then that part of my life would be settled, and I wouldn't worry so much about the other parts. For some reason, I think it's easier to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, than to find a career I actually enjoy. I'm afraid of rejection from both these options. But, while I'm willing to take a chance with the men in my life, I am not even attempting to try for a career I may be interested in. Somehow, that rejection would sting more.
Anyway, I know this is some mid life crisis. I'm sure there are parts of my life that will get settled in a couple of months. Here's to that.
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