Endings

You'd think that after eight years, you get a little bit more comfortable talking about your father's death.

It's true, you do. To a certain extent.
You can tell people very easily that you don't celebrate your birthday because it's your dad's death anniversary the next day. You hardly ever mention him when you're in the presence of your family. You think you've become the 'cool, I get over things easily' girl.

And then, somebody starts talking about funerals and dead bodies. And, there's a block of wood shoved down your throat. You want to say something about how the first dead body you've ever seen is your father's and how it really upset you, but that block of wood just keeps getting bigger. Till it threatens to pour out of your eyes and embarrass everyone in the room. So, you keep quiet, close your eyes, and breathe deeply, and hope that no one notices.