The Importance of Being Single

"Single women are perceived as volatile, prone to crying jags, at turns desperate and slutty, and almost always the object of pity, at the receiving end of setups by well-meaning friends, foisting single men upon them like so many discarded sweaters. As we grow older, we are taught to define ourselves in the context of a partner. To be alone as a woman is scary because it implies uselessness, a sense of an ending before you had a chance to begin. If you have reached a certain age without having found a partner, you are an afterthought. You are irrelevant."

I read this article at the exact time I was meant to. I've been going back and forth about whether I feel great or whether I feel depressed about my single status. I know my last few posts have been leaning towards the optimistic side, but the last few weeks have been tough on me. I've come to accept this yo-yoing of my moods and not be alarmed by it. I have good days and I have bad days, like I'm sure everyone does. And, I'm fairly certain that I'm going to reach this stage in my life when the good days will outlast the bad days. They're sort of an equal 50-50 right now.

But yes, this paragraph especially just rings so true. I know for a fact that if I didn't have society looking at me like a dawdling spinster (at least, in my head, I think they do) or if I didn't compare my life to my Facebook feed, I'd be a much happier person.

A friend suggested that I keep this article handy, so that the next time I feel low, I should just read this over and over again till I finally internalise it. All these 'epiphanies' of mine normally last a very short time. They last till someone I know gets engaged, or some cute Irish boy doesn't return my messages. I've said this over and over again, and I hope that it gets through to me at some point, but I can't let my self worth be determined by someone else. I just can't.

Yeah, sure. A lot of my self esteem issues do stem from the way that I look. But, the fact is, I'm also a good person. I'm a kind, considerate, affectionate, loyal person. And, just because someone doesn't call me back, it doesn't mean that any of these good qualities get negated. I'm still all of these things, and I really need to remember that. Fingers crossed.